Just an FYI to people who receive this ominous ass submission and are frightened by it:
It’s just a music video, not gore, and it’s safe to click.
It’s only some indie band with a…rather uncomfortable marketing campaign but I promise you it’s okay. If you like weird indie rock, go ahead and check them out it’s kinda catchy albeit a bit disturbing. If not, just delete it bc I know it scared the fuck outta me at first
+ a heads up theyre also sending it as text posts if youve disabled video submissions, the url ends w/ el40MavMTBQ
“what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
“is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.”
“let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
“what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
“in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
“did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
“wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”
*scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!”
“i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
“don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
“i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
“fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
“i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
“i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”
au where all the marauders and lily live together and it’s just a Mess
their cutlery is a mixture of plastic knives and forks built in bulk from the local supermarket and fancy, silver, engraved knives and forks sirius steals from pureblood events mr&mrs potter ask him and james to go to with them
every windowsill is dedicated to remus’ plants and lily is allergic to one of them but they can’t figure out which so james threatens to drown all the plants bc they’re making lily sneeze and remus throws a watering can at him
no one can remember who owns what so peter is always wearing james’ shoes or lily is always wearing sirius’ jeans or remus is always wearing sirius’ shirt (lily complains on a regular basis that she never gets to steal james’ shirt to sleep in bc it always ends up being someone elses)
james has to transfigure the shelf in the bathroom so that it’s big enough to hold all of sirius’ different soaps and conditioners
there’s always a cauldron with a different bubbling potion in it each week in the kitchen and one time peter’s v drunk and he thinks it’s soup and he drinks it and he grows an extra leg and lily has to take him to st mungo’s
the only chair they’ve never had to cast a reparo charm on is the comfy armchair with extra pillows which lily put a permanent heating spell on and it’s Remus’ Chair.
bobby pins. are. everywhere. lily is always buying new packs and then sirius is “borrowing them” and never returning them and somehow there are bobby pins in remus’ plants, in their shoes, in between james pile of textbooks he says are for “pleasure reading”, in the sugar pot, under pillows, over doorframes, in the cat’s fur
peter and lily begin feeding a stray cat that shows up all the time and lily says she wants to keep it so ofc james wants to keep it and then it’s 4 against 1 bc remus likes the fact sirius leaves the room every time the cat begins to purr
0 boundaries. there are three bedrooms and no one knows whose is whose so they all end up sharing sometimes
every time someone changes the radio station so it’s anything but his favourite quidditch one, james sulks for hours
remus framed all of their posters in attempt to make them seem like adults so then sirius makes him a “#1 adult” badge which he casts a permanently sticking charm on and sirius puts it on remus’ favourite jumper
after several official letters of complaint signed moony, wormtail & padfoot are delivered to their door, lily and james buy all three of them earmuffs so that way it’s their own fault if they hear anything they don’t want to
lily charms all the mirrors to tell sirius he has something on his face whenever he looks in it
all the rooms are only half decorated bc they got lazy after moving in
all of them are scared of spiders. except for peter, who walks in smugly with mug and coaster after he hears screams from a room
aeschylus: stayed outside in his old age to avoid a prophecy that he would die from having something fall on his head, died when an eagle thought his bald head was a rock and dropped a turtle on him to break its shell
plato: partied too hard
empedocles: jumped into a volcano to prove that he was immortal
philitas of cos: was such an incredible pedant that he wasted away while studying erroneous word usage
saint lawrence: roasted alive during christian persecution under valerian, joked that he was done on one side and needed to be flipped over
didius julianus: purchased the roman empire in an auction, ruled for 9 weeks, executed for being ineffective leader
petronius arbiter: sentenced to death by nero, opened his veins while enjoying a sumptuous dinner party, edited his will to list all of the reasons he hated nero
